Adam Steele

About Adam Steele...

(An excerpt from The Obscene Chronicles)

NAME: Adam Steele
STATS: Born 1975, 6 foot, 175 pounds, brown eyes.
CURRENT HOME: St. Louis, Missouri
EDUCATION: Bachelor of Arts
OCCUPATION: General Manager of a restaurant
STATUS: As single as they come
LOST IT: Age 17
NUMBER OF WOMEN: Number? Hell, I can’t even remember
their names.
WIERDEST PLACE TO HAVE HAD SEX: A pet cemetery (and no,
it was not with a dead animal).
SIZE OF PORN COLLECTION: Uh…homemade or store-bought?
DRINK OF CHOICE: Budweiser or whatever you put in front of me.
FAVORITE KIND OF MUSIC: Hard Rock and Heavy Fuckin’Metal.
SELF DESCRIBED: Outgoing, confident, intelligent, funny, smartass,
spontaneous, and reckless. A “lives for the moment”type of guy.
LIKES: Beer, women, fast cars, loud music, movies, playing practical
jokes on people, and beer.
DISLIKES: Mornings, going to work, chicks who feel the need to
call me 14 times a fuckin’ day, multiple-wipe shits (a.k.a. “mudbutt”),
and country music.
IDEAL WOMAN: A three-foot tall woman with no vocal chords and a flat head. Ok seriously:
She must be attractive, kinky, and willing to put up with his shit. A personality would be an
added bonus too. Oh…and preferably unable to read.
MOTTO TO LIVE BY: “Never let a good opportunity pass you by.”

Adam’s story is that of a late bloomer. He never got much action in high school, and was a
little on the shy side when it came to girls. In fact, let’s not sugarcoat it—he was a no-pussy-gettin’
fool. But after high school, he went to college and joined a fraternity. He soon became great
friends with Mike, who had already been in the fraternity for a year.

During his first year he went to Panama City for spring break and, with a little assistance from
Mike, received a crash course in learning “the game.” This completely changed his attitude and
outlook on life—and that’s when all hell broke loose. The next thing he knew, he was voted as the
“house slut.” He has since become addicted to the single life and has made sure to take full advantage
of every opportunity it has to offer.

Adam is more of a “lives for the moment” kind of guy. Whatever happens; happens. He is
somewhat reckless, flies by the seat of his pants, and parties like a rock star. He is the kind of idiot
that will do just about anything—just to be able to say he did it. Adam probably has the most stories
in this book, and they vary in topic. They range from wild sex stories to horrific disasters, and
everything in between.

Many of his friends have come to the conclusion that Adam is an indestructible machine. In
fact, they often refer to him as “the man of steel.” He has this unusual talent of being able to stay
out drinking all night long, get little or no sleep, and still be able to hop up and go to work at 8
a.m. as if he were a fucking robot. Pain, sickness, heat, cold, lack of sleep and hangovers do not
seem to phase him. He somehow ignores it, and does not let anything prevent him from doing
what he wants to. If you were out with him and wanted to go home early because you had to
work the next day, he would say “Never let what you have to do tomorrow interfere with what
you want to do today.”