Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.

Q. You know what it taste like to go down on a 80 year-old woman?
A. Depends.

Q. You know what it looks like?
A. Ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.

Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A. Come in eight flavors.

Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Q. What's six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.

Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson love twenty-four year olds?
A. There’s twenty of them.

Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.

Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.

Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.

Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.

Q: Why do men like big tits and tight pussy?
A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.

Q: Why don't women have any brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.

Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say fuck?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!