Check us out on

MySpace!

About Roger Cameron...

(An excerpt from The Obscene Chronicles)

 

NAME: Roger Cameron
STATS: Born 1974, 5 foot 8 inches, 165 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes.
CURRENT HOME: St. Louis, MO
EDUCATION: Bachelor of Arts
OCCUPATION: Quality Assurance Analyst
STATUS: Single
LOST IT: Age 19
NUMBER OF WOMEN: Uh…the number of women I actually had
sex with, or the number that have passed out in my bed? Cuz I’ve
slept with a lot of chicks but still had to beat off half the time.
WIERDEST PLACE TO HAVE HAD SEX: Hell, I’m just grateful
when I have sex, but I did get a blowjob on a ferris wheel once.
SIZE OF PORN COLLECTION: Collection? That’s what the
Internet is for.
DRINK OF CHOICE: I like to try something different every time.
FAVORITE KIND OF MUSIC: Hard Rock and Classic Rock.
SELF DESCRIBED: Intelligent, hard working, finish-what-hestarts,
organized, problem solver, silly sense of humor.
LIKES: Women, writing, reading, running, fishing, eating large
amounts of food, and “the weekend.”
DISLIKES: Politics, hypocrites, unwanted bodily fluids, and bitches
with A.D.D.
IDEAL WOMAN: An independent, intelligent, charismatic, physically
fit, and irresistibly sexy tomboy who can talk dirty to me in multiple languages
MOTTO TO LIVE BY: Do something right or don’t do it at all.

Roger is also a late bloomer, even later than Adam. His encounters with the opposite sex
were almost nonexistent until he joined the fraternity, having already been in college for two
years. On one of his first nights at the fraternity house, he met Adam. For some reason, Adam
was quickly able to identify with him. Perhaps Adam saw part of his former self in Roger. The
two became engrossed in conversation, as Adam convinced Roger to join the fraternity. Adam
was a year younger, but was much more experienced in the woman department, which Roger
found to be intriguing. Adam took on the slightly older apprentice, and the rest is history.
Early on in his college years, Roger adopted the exclamation “Outstanding!”as his trademark.
He even created an ink stamp containing the words OUTSTANDING! Whenever Roger sees
something of an outstanding nature, he stamps it. Also, if someone does something that he
deems to be outstanding, he will stamp him or her. For example: naked tits at Mardi Gras—
stamped! Skinny-dipping at the lake—stamped! Hot lesbian action—double-stamped! You get the
idea. Mike and Adam have been stamped numerous times. Now you may be thinking what kind
of grown man carries around a fucking stamp!? Roger does. It is as much a symbol of his unique
character as it is his personal trademark. This may sound strange, but most people who know
Roger actually consider it a great honor to receive the stamp.
Roger has an odd way of doing things, which may be why the oddest things just seem to happen
to him. Either way, there seems to be no escape from bizarre mishaps for him. Most of
Roger’s stories range from disasters to...well, more disasters. All the man wants is some fucking
normality in his life, but it never seems to work out that way. If Roger is expecting a fastball, he’ll
get a curveball. If he’s expecting a curveball, he’ll get a fastball. If Roger decides to take a pitch,
he’ll get beaned in the head. There’s always a weird twist to Roger’s stories, usually because
something has gone horribly wrong. His stories will have you either laughing your ass off, shaking
your head in disbelief, or both. Either way, you are sure to find them all OUTSTANDING!