"Psycho Bitches"

It is probably safe to say that all men at some point in their life have had a run-in with a psycho bitch. In fact, if you have ever dated a woman, the chances are you have had a psycho bitch experience. However, you may not have even realized it because there are many different levels and variations of the psycho bitch, some of which are very obvious and others of which are not. The Psycho Bitch Phenomenon is not something that can be easily identified or explained, but we will attempt to do so anyway.

In our adventures and research, we have discovered that there are actually five different breeds of the psycho bitch, each one differing in style and intensity.
At the top of the psycho-scale, you have what is known as the Raging Psycho Bitch. This one is very easy to identify. They can snap almost instantly. They hold nothing back and make no attempt to hide their psychotic motives. This is the type of woman who has no shame in making a huge scene in public. Raging psycho bitches are often known for violent outbursts, stalking, and telephone abuse. These types of women can be very dangerous. The good thing is that you can usually see them coming a mile away.

Next down on the scale you have the Sneaky Psycho Bitch. This is probably the most dangerous of all psycho bitches. This breed is every bit as ruthless as the raging psycho bitch, but much more cunning. They keep their psycho-ness hidden from you and are very sneaky and secretive about their motives. This is the type of woman who could be poisoning your Cheerios every morning and you’d never even know it. She secretly checks up on you night and day. If you have ever noticed that you never have any new messages on your answering machine because she has already listened to them, or perhaps her name shows up on your caller ID several times a day when she knew damn well you weren’t going to be home, you may have a sneaky psycho bitch checking up on you.

Next is the Dormant Psycho Bitch. This breed appears to be harmless, because they don’t go psycho until a later date. This woman has secret plans for you in the back of her head. She has a perfect picture painted in her mind of exactly how things are going to be. She will often act like the perfect woman just to lure you in, and she can keep up this act for a long time, even years. Then without warning she completely changes. We call this the “bait and switch.” Marriage is a very common tool used by this type of psycho bitch. Once you’re trapped, she reveals her true identity and her true plans for you and her. You stray just a little outside of her ideal world, and she flips out.

Next there is the Fair Weather Psycho Bitch. These are generally harmless creatures. They very rarely do anything psycho. They usually trust you without ever questioning your actions and may seem like the perfect and trusting woman. But she is also naïve and easily influenced by others. Her spurts of psycho-ness are usually triggered by her evil friends, who are trying to create mistrust. For example, her friends will try to convince her that you are lying about your business trip or having to work late. Being easily convinced, she will begin to second-guess everything that you do and begin checking up on you every chance she gets.

Last, there is the Not-at-all Psycho Bitch. This woman is perfect in every way and has no major emotional issues at all. It is believed that the not-at-all psycho bitch is nothing more than a myth. Few have ever seen one. They are about as common as Bigfoot sightings.

Most women can easily fit into one or more of these categories. Some cases are very mild, while others are extreme. Even the most stable of women can easily lose it, and there is no limit to what a woman may do while having a psycho-spasm. But what causes this phenomenon? What causes seemingly normal women to turn psycho? Is it genetics? Is it hereditary? Or, are they a product of their environment? There are many theories on the causes of these psychotic outbreaks. If you ask any woman she will most certainly blame it on the man. Perhaps there is more truth to that than we realize.

One possible explanation is the Penile Infatuation Theory, which states that the male penis can induce a chemical imbalance in the female brain, thus resulting in irrational behaviors. Think about this: Have you ever noticed that most women seem perfectly normal until you give them the dick? You can take a woman who seems perfect in every way, fuck her six ways from Sunday, and the next thing you know you have a psycho bitch on your hands! It happens all the time. Perhaps we will never know the answers. But then again, who really cares? The simple truth is that some women are just fucked up.