"The Mexican Switch”

By Dug Holes - St. Louis, Missouri

My friend (Ser Lesson) and I (Dug Holes) went to Mexico for my cousin's wedding. Now knowing two cardinal rules that you don’t ever bring a date with you to a wedding or on vacation; we knew our chances for a wild trip was off to a great start.

One night we decided to go to a club called The Blue Parrot. It’s an outdoor nightclub right on the Gulf beach in Playa Del Carmen. It’s also a great place to meet people for your vacation hook up. While we were on the dance floor these two native Mexican girls come up and I noticed one took a particular interest in Lesson. They were busy grinding and I started grooving with the other one in the meantime. It also didn’t take very long to figure out that these two girls spoke about seven words of English between the two of them and two of the seven words were hola and beuno.

While we were all dancing the one girl I was dancing with starts kissing me on the dance floor. At first I thought this was a little odd, because the other girl was way into Lesson, but they weren’t doing anything but dancing. And because I wasn’t sure this honey was even into me. I thought it might be a case of her trying to keep me occupied while her friend got the hook up. Or I thought they might be out for our cash. This started to fuck with my mind and I started thinking they might be local prostitutes. Knowing that there were plenty of non-hookers around and not wanting to get jacked I excused myself to the bathroom and then went to sit down and wait it out until my buddy had his fill with his little Mexican senorita. About 15 minutes later I see my buddy emerge from the crowd and asks me what the fuck was I doing. I explained my thoughts and he tells me to just go with it and not worry about it. So I shut my inner voice up and get back to the ladies on the dance floor.

Eventually we take a ride back to our resort and upon arriving the local staff wasn’t too pleased with seeing two of their own hooking it up with two gringos from el norte. They tell us that we can’t bring them back to our room. Well this sets Lesson off on a verbal sparing match with the staff. I just sat down on the bench outside with the ladies and let him handle his business. I knew everything he was saying was legit, like “We’ve spent a lot of fucking money at this resort” and “Why do you think we came here, to jerk off in our rooms?” I also knew that the staff would not budge. Drunken reasoning never works. They told us it would cost $140 American dollars for the girls to come back to our room. Call me a cheap ass but after everything I had already spent on excursions and other shit, I wasn’t about to fork out that kind of cash on a couple of women when I could easily have free replacements the next day, which I did anyway, how I digress.

So after about ten minutes of Lesson shouting and getting nowhere with the staff, one of the girls gets up and goes to the counter and pays the full amount for them to come back to our room. Can you say, “Jesus titty fucking that is sweet?” I couldn’t believe it. The staff couldn’t believe it, and you could tell they weren’t happy as they spoke harshly to the ladies in their native tongue.

We finally get back to our room and my girl and I immediately start making out on my bed. Lesson went to the bathroom to take a quick shit and after about five minutes he gets in bed with his girl. I’m currently getting head, with a condom on, when I hear Lesson’s girl utter the word “switch”. I was so into my moment that I didn’t really pay attention until I hear Lesson repeat the word and say “Oh yeah we can switch.” “Hey Dug these girls want to switch after we’re done.” Of the seven English words these two girls knew between them, “switch” was one of them. Fucking beautiful! Needless to say we go at it with our unofficially assigned girls, make the switch and then switch back once more. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Well if you eliminate Lesson from the scenario it would have been, but this was about as good as it gets. I awoke early in the morning to my girl kissing on me and then saying “bye.” They didn’t even stick around for breakfast, which was included in the $140 they forked out to stay the night. I guess they already had their fill with American sausage.

Lesson Learned:
While on vacation if it doesn’t kill you, it makes for a great story. “Go with it” is the best motto. Trust your gut but don’t let it cock block you. I might have fucked up the entire evening if I allowed myself to stay too guarded.