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An excerpt from The Obscene Chronicles...

"You Lost Your Gum Where?"

.....It didn’t take but a couple of minutes before we were all over each other. In no time at all, our clothes were on the floor. I was fascinated by the enormous tits in my face, and I couldn’t stop playing with them. Eventually I realized that I had better pay more attention to the rest of her body, so I worked my way “downstairs.” Vicky had not mastered the fine art of using a razor, but hell, I didn’t mind; I was going to score and that’s all that mattered.
I buried my face and proceeded to give her a good old-fashioned tongue-thrashing. After about fifteen minutes of this, I came to a horrible realization. Oh Shit! Where’s my gum? Now this entire time I had been still chewing the same gum that I had since we left the bar. For some reason, it never occurred to me to take it out. I had it wedged in the back of my mouth for so long I had almost forgotten it was there. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel it anymore. Did I swallow it? I didn’t remember doing that. Where was it?
I brought my head back out for a second to take a look, and I made a horrible discovery. The gum was stuck in her pubic hair! Holy Shit! What do I do now? Since I had stopped pleasuring her, she looked down at me as if to say, “Why are you stopping?”
Not wanting to explain things, I dove back in to avoid any inquiries. This ain’t so bad, maybe I can get it out with my teeth. So I continued to pleasure her somewhat and tried to remove the gum without her noticing. Unfortunately, I just made it worse and it became completely tangled in the briar patch. I was trying to “chew it out” but ended up pulling on her hairs out.
“Ouch!” She finally looked down at me and said, “What the hell are you doing?”
There was no hiding it now; her pussy was a cinnamon-flavored disaster area. “Uh…you’re gonna kill me.”
About that time, she looked down and figured it out. She let out a gasp and then an angry yell. She reached back, and she bitch-slapped me upside the head really hard. Ouch! Two can play at this game. I reached down and grabbed the gum with my fingers and began to tug. “Here, let me pull on it a little for you,” I said with a shit-eating grin on my face.
She yelped in pain. Vicky quickly realized that we had to come to a logical solution here. “Just cut it out!” she screamed. “Find something to cut it out!”
I got up from the couch in the living room and scurried into the kitchen. Here I was, completely naked, wandering around in a house that I was not familiar with, looking for a fucking pair of scissors. “Where are the scissors?” I asked. I was getting impatient. This mishap was ruining the moment in more ways than one.
“I have no clue” she yelled back, obviously frustrated and with a sense of urgency in her voice. “Just find something!”
I rummaged through every drawer in the kitchen. Still, no scissors to be found. Finally, I saw an office desk in the corner of the kitchen near the doorway to the deck. I went over to it, and on top of the desk I found a little pair of multi-colored kid safety scissors, complete with Big Bird on the handle, and rounded blades. This’ll do. I grabbed them and walked back over to the couch, looking as silly as possible being naked carrying some kid’s Sesame Street scissors.
Before I could do anything, she grabbed the scissors out of my hand as if she had been waiting for hours. She did the dirty deed herself, then tossed the scissors on the floor. She then sat there on the couch, staring off into space, in a look of pure disbelief. After a few more seconds, I looked at her with a smile on my face and said, “So, where was I?”......

 

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